1Jul09 Your 30’s are great, but I can’t wait for 40!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ED!

Me and my bro, Ed, on his wedding day

Me and my bro, Ed, on his wedding day

My bro is now officially one of us.  “Us” being a “30 Something’”.  Yup, he’s no longer in his 20’s, not exactly 30, but “in his 30’s”.  And he didn’t sound too happy about it when we spoke over the weekend. Men these days….LOL!

Me?  I’m lovin’ my 30’s, but am eagerly awaiting my 40’s.  My hubby thinks I’m crazy!  Most everyone do, but it’s true.  I feel like 40 will afford me some freedoms that I’ve not had in my 20’s and 30’s.

Here’s my plan.  When I turn 40, I will simplify.  First, my wardrobe will move to all black.  You know, like what Jamie lee Curtis did when she turned 50.  I figure, what the hell?  Why not 40?  This way, I won’t have to give much thought to clothes, fashion, shopping, etc.  Not like I really do now, but still, one less thing to worry about.

Also, when I’m 41, both my kids will be in school, full time.  That alone is freedom for a SAHM.  Oh, I love my girls and am so thankful I could be home with them from birth, but there’s only so much Hi5 and finger painting that one person can take.  Since my kids are 7 years apart, I feel like I’ve been picking playdough out of the carpet my whole life and I still have years of it left.

But, it’s all good.  I love being a Mom [including a SAHM] and wouldn’t change a thing.  But I am looking forward to MJ heading off to Kindergarten [in due time].  Maybe I’ll go back to school, or maybe back to work, or maybe I’ll just kick my business into high gear and start training again.  Yeah, 40 is looking better and better.

Last, but not least.  In your 40’s, you no longer compete with people in their 20’s.  Your new competition is 30’s and 50’s.  That’s a lot less pressure.  I mean, no matter what I do in terms of workout, I just can’t look like I did when I was 22.  Course, I’m not really THAT dedicated, but you know what I mean.  However, there are some 45 year olds that rock the house and definitely compete with 35 year olds.  So, yeah, 40’s are definitely gonna be easier on the ego.

But even beyond looks, women in their 40’s have knowledge, experience, power and confidence.  They’ve been there, done that, but are still willing to try new things.   You’re old enough to know better, but young enough to start over.  For me, my 40’s will be about “self” and there’s nothing wrong with that.  OK, I’m not gonna leave my kids and hubby and run off to travel Europe with some “Fabio” wannabe.  I’m just saying that my kids will be older, my husband is stable in his career, our lives are in balance, so it’s my turn.  I get to “start over”.

So let the countdown begin.  I have exactly 2.5 years to decide what to be when I  grow up.  Any suggestions for a “has been” Program Manager, turned Software Trainer, turned wife, turned Mom, turned web developer, turned clothing store owner, turned house flipper and general contractor and now, a part time blogger and mother of TWO very active little girls.  Suggestions.  Anyone?

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29Jun09 How to trim very curly, kinky hair at home.

Let me preface this post.  I am NOT a hairstylist.  Just a Mom who has a child with beautiful curls and has found a system that works for us.  That is all.  I just hope this system might help another Mom or Dad struggling with care of a curly child and the desire to keep their child’s hair natural.  Trimming plays a very important roll in healthy hair, so here is my system for trimming.

Thank you, Renae [sdmom22]

I trim my daughter’s hair about every 8 weeks. Usually about 1 1/2 to 2 inches at a time. This trim was more like 2 1/2 inches, but that’s because it’s summer and because PJ wanted it a little shorter.  We started the process on Saturday evening, but ended up trimming the following morning.  From beginning to end, you’re looking at 2 1/2 to 3 hours, max.

Anyway, here’s our routine.  Hope you find these step by step instructions useful. Keeping curly hair trimmed and healthy will not only look nicer, but be easier to manage. Plus, it will grow faster. Trust me.

PJ just out of the pool. Swimming, beach and sun...they take their toll. Time for a trim.
We let her hair air dry and decided to straighten it in the morning.

Here's an example of a typical loose braid that we do before bed, every night. Keeps tangles to a minimum.
PJ loves her silk pillowcase.

Section hair when straightening. We use a ceramic flat iron and just make sure hair is dry and free of product.
This is an hour to 2 hour process. We're usually done in one movie. :)

Continue working in small sections, from the neckline up.
This the maximum amount of hair you should iron at once. The smaller the amount of hair, the straighter it goes, but this works for us.

Straightened. Ready for trim.
You can see, the ends need trimming. Plus, PJ wants it a bit shorter for summer so she can wear it loose more.

When trimming, section just like when straightening. First get length desired, then work on layers.
Finished!

Ready for summer!

After a day at soccer camp & a lot of water poured on her head. [to stay cool]
Curl is coming back, but not all the way yet.

There's the curl, we know and love! Still pretty wet though.
This length is definitely cute and manageable for summer! I'd like to show it dry, but camera battery died. I'll add more later. Promise!



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28Jun09 Wrestling Shamu…FAIL, FAIL, FAIL, PASS!

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26Jun09 Atlantis, Milo’s Return…I never realized!

PJ has seen this movie a hundred times, okay, maybe not 100, but at least 14 or so.  Since PJ is NOT allowed to have a TV in her room, Ken and I have also seen it 14 or so times.  Yeah, nice [not!].  After 14 times, I should be familiar, right?   But I’ve almost tuned out all these Disney flicks, until tonight.  This “Atlantis” series of movies are really diverse, as far as animated movies go.

You have White, Mexican, Russian, Italian, Black.  At least I think Atlantis Queen, Kida, and all her people are Disney’s attempt to add Black to the mix.  This is just my assumption.  It’s hard to say, because all the Atlantis characters have platinum hair [as in ice white] and dark skin. 

In the real world, they aren’t “Black” per se, but to PJ, they’re dark like her and she can identify, plus, she finds the Queen “very pretty”.   Either way, it’s a diverse cast and more so than most Disney films. 

If you or your kids like adventure film, check this one out.  It’s exciting, has funny and colorful characters, and even adds a little “love” in there with Milo and the Queen Kida.  To PJ, that love thing is very “adorable” and to me, it’s a positive spin on diverse relationships.

It’s just nice to see an animated film with so many shades of skin tone.  PJ simply loves the accents and Queen Kida.  :)  How cute is that?

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26Jun09 Michael Jackson…his beat was undeniable!

Michael JacksonI was 7 when Off the Wall was released.  All the older girls had crushes and all our parents were playing the album or 8 track, nonstop.  It was and is, one of the greatest albums of all time!

Then came Thriller.  By this time, I’m a teenager and completely enthralled with all things Michael.  Everyone is!  From the one handed glove, to the music videos.  We couldn’t get enough.  Who didn’t try to moonwalk, learn the Thriller dance and attempt to bust out that infamous, hip shifting move he did?  I know you tried!  We all thought we could dance.  Key word, “thought”.  Because, when you listen to Michael Jackson, you can’t help but bust a groove!

So, as the world mourns and pays tribute, let us all be reminded.  Before anything, Michael was a boy.  A boy with an angelic voice and talent like no other.  And at his death, he was a father, a son and a brother.   Before people vilify the man they think they know, I hope they can have compassion and sympathy.   Not only for his family, but for the man that lived a life of overwhelming fame, isolation and personal loneliness.

And today, as I sit and watch PJ “oooh and ahhh” while playing all the old videos and listening to Michael’s amazing music, I give thanks.  Thanks that even if he is gone, he left us something to pass on to our children.  His music.

From “I’ll be there”, which still makes my heart skip a beat, to “We are the World.”  His music and his beat were and are, undeniable.

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25Jun09 Children’ Book Review - Elena’s Serenade [Ages 4-8]

elenas serenade

Elena’s Serenade, Campbell Geeslin
Illustrated by Ana Juan
Atheneum Books for Young Readers. 2004.
Ages 4-8

PJ and I read this book last night.  We borrowed it from our local library.  I thought I’d share my review with the Mixtkids community.  Hope you find it useful.

“In Mexico, there’s a little girl, Elena, the daughter of a glassblower.  Elena decides she wants to blow into a long pipe and make bottles and vases, just like her father.

His response, “Who ever heard of a girl glassblower?”

Girls can’t be glassblowers? Or can they be?

Angry and determined, little Elena sets out on a fantastic journey to Monterrey, the city where all the great glassblowers come from.  Elena’s journey is filled with mystical encounters and magical characters.  In Monterrey, she amazes the local craftsmen with her skills and eventually returns home to her father and is able to prove her glassblowing art and gain his approval.

A wonderful story, filled with magic, mystery, love, perseverance and pride.  The illustrations are fantastic, as Ana Juan vividly depicts the Mexican landscape with color and amazing imagery.   Campbell Geeslin did an outstanding job capturing the life and language of a little Mexican girl with a dream.  We loved it and you will to.”

~ Renae Valdez-Simeon

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25Jun09 Are you parting my hair or my scalp?

OK, so I’ve talked a lot about caring for curly, mixed hair, right?  And even recently, was interviewed by CNN reporter, Lisa France, about the whole idea of “good hair”, and in particular, how hair plays such a huge role in the Black community [and with our mixtkids and families too].  But I’ve never discussed my background or my “hairstory”.  In the Hispanic community, we have our own issues and expectations as well.  I’m gonna take you back in time.  Way back in time.  Like 37 years back in time.  I’m a little girl, with long black hair, living in Ogden, Utah.  That’s right, Utah.  Land of the Mormons and yes, there are brown people in Utah….

Anyway, as is very typical of most Hispanic families of the time [and even today], I sported long tresses.  Waist length hair, mostly in pony tails or braids and always VERY tight ones.  OK, mine weren’t always that tight, for two reasons.  My mom worked and “tight” ponies take time, plus I did my own hair much of the time and that never equated to straight parts or tight ponies.  But also, I was a serious tomboy and didn’t care much what I looked like.  Course, I see pictures now and wonder “what the hell was I thinking?”  Oh, but even better was when Dad did my hair for early morning soccer games.  No part, just spread with your hands and braid.  Wish I had pictures of those hairdos!

When my Mom did my hair though, two things occurred and both caused pain.  First, the brushing.  With all that long hair and being a very active [and sweaty] kid, I had tangles.  Lots of tangles and my Mom isn’t all that patient, so brushing was hard and fast.  I am so thankful I was born with a hard head, but some of my cousins weren’t and I remember the crying that took place when they got their hair done.  I never cried, but if I moved too much or complained to loud, I got a whack on the head.  Never hard, but still, a whack on the head with a brush or comb gets your attention real fast!

After the brushing, came the parting.  I had a part straight down the middle of my head.  My Mom took that part pretty serious too.  My Tia’s did the same.  I mean, there wasn’t a hair out of place or you got a repart [ouch!].  Even with my hard head, the part some times hurt.  I often wondered if my Mom was trying to cut my head in half, because the pain was eye watering.  She never meant to hurt me.  I think she was just trying to get my hair done and some times pushing harder seemed to help keep it straight.  I think.  I hope.

bobbersAnd then, after the part, came the ponies.  Tight ponies.  Really tight ones and usually with Bobbers.  Remember Bobbers?  Do they even sell these anymore?  I seen some once, but not like the industrial sized, super strong ones we had.  ‘Old school’ Bobbers made it real easy for my Mom to get those ponies tight.  Course if I could find some now, I might be able to do them tight enough to create a mini face lift.  I might start looking on eBay.

37 years later, I’ve had so many hairstyles, from buzz cut to bob to layered to long again.  But that part down the middle of my head, it’s still there.  I purposefully part my hair on the side now, but if I step out of the shower and just shake my head, it will part right down the middle, all on it’s own, just where Mom left it.

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22Jun09 Nobody will really ever be good enough, will they?

Yesterday was Father’s Day.  A very beautiful one at that and we spent it together at the Del Mar Fair. This is Ken!And, me, the girls and uncle Eddie spent it with the most thoughtful and caring husband and father anyone could ask for, Ken Simeon.

Having such a great hubby and wonderful father to my girls got me thinking though.  One day [far from now, really, really far from now], my beautiful little girls are going to be dating, falling in love, falling out of love and hopefully, through it all, finding the man of their dreams.  And then I thought, who will he be?  Will he be Black?  Hispanic?  White?  Asian?  Mixed?  But then I thought…does it matter?  Does it matter if he’s blue, for cryin’ out loud?  My answer never changed.

What I desire for my girls is simple.  I want for them, all that I have in their father and my husband.  A warm, sincere, supportive, caring and special man.  Someone who compliments their person and loves them fully.  Someone who will be a Daddy and not just a father.  Someone who will respect them as strong women, but love them as delicate flowers.  Someone who is also strong himself, but not so much so that he refuses to play Barbies with his daughters or teach his son that a man is still a man, even if he shows his feelings.  I want for them, exactly what I have and nothing less.

I’m very thankful my parents were understanding during my dating years.  I was allowed to make choices based on attraction, compatibility and behavior.  I never thought about skin color and was never forced to.  My brothers were allowed the same and we’ve all definitely spread the ethnic spectrum in dating and even marrying.  My husband’s family was much the same, which makes us a very unique unity.

Us...9 years ago.It is our duty, as parents, to continue to spread the acceptance and the love that our families have graced us with.  To show our daughters that they have choices, not based on color, but on quality and compatibility.  To have self respect and to demand that same respect from their significant other, regardless of his or her color.

All I ever desire for my children; whether in love, life or career, is choice.  I want them to be who they want, love whomever they wish and live a life that makes them happy in their heart and soul.  I simply want for them to have the same happiness that Ken and I have.  And that, well, that is good enough for me.

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18Jun09 Last day of school….SAY WHAT!?!

PJ in 1st gradeIt’s a bittersweet day.  My big girl is right now, sitting in class, with all the other 1st graders of room 7 and attending their last day of school.  For PJ, it’s a happy day, but very sad as well.  We bought a house in a different elementary boundary, so she will leave the 1st grade and the school.  For her, today has a lot more finality to it.

Sure, she knows it’s for the better, but that don’t take away the sadness.  The new school is only 3 blocks from our house, so we’ll be able to walk and that is a HUGE plus, for both of us.  And, of course, she’ll meet more neighborhood kids, which is also great.  She already has some neighborhood friends, but no one that really seems to be “best friend” material.  Everyone needs a “best friend” in the neighborhood, right?

And, most importantly, she will finally be in a school that she knows she won’t have to move from again.  The poor kid has moved out of state 3 times, attended 4 preschools, 2 elementary schools and she’s only in 1st grade.  So, yes, stability is needed and appreciated.

But even through all this chaos, all the change, all the instability, PJ persevered.  She hasn’t just done well in school, she has done AWESOME!  Report cards came yesterday and she had all “E’s” [Exceeding grade level] and nearly all 4’s.  The kid rocks!  Not to mention she also won “Physical Education Student of the Year”.  So yeah, I’m one very proud Momma!

What makes me the most proud though, is that she never rubs it in to her friends.  She never snubs her nose about her abilities.  She never gloats.  And for that, I love her even more.  For her humility alone, I envy her and aspire to be like her.   Because, me?  Well, I love to talk about how great my kids are and about their accomplishments.   And I even gloat a bit [ok, a lot].  I try not to, but then I catch myself comparing or emphasizing all the great things my kids do.  I usually stop myself, but sometimes it’s too late.  PJ could teach me a thing or two about humility or at least how to “shut my trap” once in a while.

Anyway, today is “goodbye” to a great school and teacher, and of course, a wonderful group of kids and “hello” to a fun and relaxing summer vacation.  Before we get to the relaxing part though, I need to get off this computer so I can prepare this house and yard.  Tomorrow, PJ’s classmates will be over to kick off their summer vacation!   It’s a ‘END OF SCHOOL POOL PARTY’!

Kinda makes me wanna be 7 again.  You’re just young enough to not have to prepare for the party, but old enough to actually have one.  Yeah, I definitely wanna be a kid again.  You?

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17Jun09 Enough with the “good hair” comments already!

PJ at 2 weeks oldObviously, I’m not black, but my girls are mixtkids and their father is black.  So, I know all about this “good hair” thing that is so much a part of the black community.  Both have curls and lots of them.  My oldest not only has a lot of curls, but a lot of hair [thanks to my side] [because I have a TON and super thick too].  It wasn’t always like that though.

As a baby, you couldn’t even tell PJ was gonna have curls at all.  Month after month, the curls slowly came in.  PJ almost 1 yrs oldBy 1 years old, she had soft little ringlets and was constantly getting the “good hair” comments from Ken’s family and most black people in the street.  “Oh, so cute.  She has that “good hair” and it’s so soft.”  Blah, blah, blah.

As the months passed, PJ’s grew and grew and got thicker and thicker.  I struggled through each step and used lots of different products [or should I say, wasted] until we found Mixed Chicks, Infusium [in a pinch], Creme of Nature and a Silk pillow case. PJ at 4 yrs oldAnd as the months and years passed, PJ’s hair became so much a part of who PJ is, that I can’t even imagine her without the curly hair.

Now that PJ is 7 and has extremely curly and thick hair, the comments she gets have changed.  She no longer gets the “good hair” comment, she gets the “WOW”, you have a lot of hair comment and the “how long does it take to straighten?” and questions to me about, “Does she ever ask to have it relaxed?” Relaxed?  WTF?  She loves her hair and so do I!

OK…so, let’s fast foward 7 years and here comes our baby, MJ.  She was born with that same straight brown hair that only had a little curl when wet, but totally straight for months.  Slowly, the curls are coming in.  But they aren’t happening as fast as PJ’s.  Ken and MJ 2 days oldI commented last night that she seems to be a few months behind with curls.

At 12 months, MJ’s hair looks about as curly as PJ’s did at 10 months.  I think at 14 months, her hair will be very similar to PJ’s at 12.  It’s really fun to watch their hair transform.

But…here’s the kicker.  The comments have started up again.  This time directed at MJ.  MJ is developing her curls slower and the curls are looser [for now].   Plus, PJ is now 7 and has her grown up curls already, so the “good hair” comments have shifted to the baby.  “OH, yeah, she has that “good hair” or “I don’t think she’s gonna have hair like PJ at all.  It’s definitely not as curly!” [SAY WHAT?]

With PJ, “good hair” comments were annoying, but sometimes flattering [I didn't know any better].  Now, it kinda pisses me off.  See, it’s not just a comment to MJ  [meant as a compliment, I know], but it tells PJ that she doesn’t have “good hair”.  Even though she does!  I would know, I deal with it everyday.  To me, “good hair” is healthy hair and it doesn’t matter the texture, curl, thickness or color.

As a mother, I’m probably being over sensitive.  MJ at 10 monthsI know it’s typically not meant in any negative way.  I know this “good hair” thing has been around forever and is as common as wanting smooth skin or straight teeth.  But, really, is there truly a such thing as “good hair?”  What it seems to me is that you’re saying, “good hair” equals “white hair.” As in Caucasian.  Am I wrong?  If so, then define the term, “good” for me, cause I don’t get it.

As I step off my high horse, I’d like to ask you all a favor.  Please, the next time you look at a young child and touch their kinky or curly hair, don’t say the “good hair” comment, even if you mean well.  Give ‘em a hug instead.

As part of Black in America 2, Lisa Respers France of CNN, did a story on Black Culture and Hair.  Mixtkids.com and this post were cited and referenced in the article.  If you haven’t already read the story, please do.  Great piece!

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